An hour and 10 minutes until 36 hours to IUI

I should be grading papers, but I have a yearning to memorialize this milestone. It could all come to nothing, I understand. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But anyway, it's something new and important and even exciting. It's proactive, at any rate.

At 11 pm, I have to take my hcG shot to induce ovulation in 36 hours. 36 hours from now is our IUI appointment: 10 am Saturday. The doc gave me the whole play-by-play today. We do IUI on Saturday. The sperm travel up into my fallopian tube over the course of the next few days. The big and important days are Tuesday/Wednesday, though, because that's when implantation would occur and that's the dicey part of it. If that doesn't happen, it's a no-go. Although if the sperm don't fertilize the egg to begin with, that's a no-go anyway. So it seems to me that every day up until implantation is important, too. But maybe he just meant implantation days are the days you want to take it easy physically.

We did the ultrasound today to see how many follicles Clomid produced. He found at least 3, although he says it looks like I might have as many as 5. I don't know if that's impressive or good or what. I know it's better than 2, 3 or 4, but fertilization is iffy as it is and so even with 5 eggs I might not get any fertilized.

The shot scares me. My husband seems to understand how to do it-- I made a video of the nurse at the office today demonstrating how to fill the syringe first with the water, then with the powder, and then how to change the needle-- and my husband watched the video and seems to understand all of it. I don't really understand any of it. I'm sure I could if I had to, but I know my husband will be taking care of this, so I feel less pressure to think clearly and absorb the information. So I just wallow in my anxious feelings toward the needle and the prospect of being shot up by someone so decidedly not qualified for that level of nursing.

Wish me luck! Oh, babies in the universe who might be out there waiting for their Momma, you know my heart is open for you. I'd love you so much.